My Journey...Part 4 Continued-Continued! & Jeremy's Surprise!

So, you maybe wondering, why I have posted a picture of a random hotel. I'll explain in a sec.!
Okay, so I'm on the portion of Proverbs 31:11 which says, "lacks nothing of value/shall have no need of spoil." I've talked about the virtuous woman helping out by being a wise spender but this next explanation is where I've really been stretched. Here goes: Matthew Henry writes, and this is so awesome, "He (the virtuous woman's husband) thinks himself so happy IN HER that he envies not those who have most of the wealth of this world; he needs it not, HE HAS ENOUGH, having such a wife. Happy the couple that have such a satisfaction in each other!" Wow! I have to ask myself,
*Is Jeremy that satisfied with me? Do I make him so happy that the wealth of this world just becomes a bonus? If it were all taken away, would he still be happy?
Admittedly, I must answer, "probably not" to these 3 questions. Jeremy knows I love him, I'm sure of that, but I can't say that he is lavished by my love. And that's because I'm not doing such a swell job at "lavishing!" The busyness of life in general, especially with the boys, has almost forced Jeremy to sometimes take a backseat. That is SO sad! Nothing is more important, next to our relationship with God, than our relationship with each other. And it's not that we have a bad marriage; we have a great one! I just want it to be the BEST!=) I want Jeremy and I experience all that God intended marriage to be!
On this same topic, consider the following verse of Proverbs, which says "she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." I'll try to sum this up quickly. Henry writes, "She makes it her constant business to do him good. She shows her love to him, not by a foolish fondness (affection), but by prudent (wise, discreet) endearments (affection)."
*Do I make it my constant goal to show Jeremy affection? Do I plan special things for him? Do I "study" him and cleverly create ways to show him love? Not nearly as much as I should!
Oh, and this is to be done "all the days of her life," not necessarily his. This should be seen in the legacy of our children!
So...the motel thing was an attempt at creatively showing love to Jeremy. Here's how it went:
Jeremy is driving about 45 minutes one way to work each day. It is exhausting him and getting a little old by now. Plus, the boys haven't been sleeping too well at night lately (I'm not sure why), so this has taken its toll. Yesterday, I packed up an overnight bag for both of us, a cooler full of food, some bowls and plates, and the George Foreman...enough for a small meal. I met Jeremy in Durham to go and look at more houses. Afterwards, he headed back in to work, and I secretly put his overnight bag, pillow, and a note with directions, in the front seat of his car. I then headed to Crestwood Suites (that's the picture that's posted) and began cooking supper. After following the directions I left in his car, he arrived at the motel at around 6. I had dinner on the table, and we were able to spend the rest of the night relaxing. It was less than 10 minutes from the church, so he was able to sleep in this morning. And, because I did my homework, we were able to get an upgraded room for a cheap price. It was just what both of us needed! We're already planning another one for March!
I'm really trying to practice what I'm learning, and it has been so much fun! Hard work, yes, but definitely fun!

My Journey...Part 4 Continued

I'm still sharing what I've learned from Proverbs 31:11,12 which says, "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." Maybe, just maybe, I'll finish these 2 verses tonight! Yeah Right!
Another area in which the virtuous woman's husband trusts in her takes place when they are around others. He doesn't worry about what she will say or the effects her actions will have on himself. This husband trusts his wife in public.
*Does Jeremy trust me in the presence of others? I would like to say yes, but I know sometimes I shy away from new people and new surroundings (this is not a good thing with us being at a new church and all!)
Matthew Henry also writes, "He trusts in her fidelity (loyalty, faithfulness) to his interests, and that she will never betray his counsels nor have any interest separate from that of his family." Here's another hint at my "job description:" focus on my family!
This man can also trust his wife when he is away. He can trust that things at home will be ran as well as if he were there himself. Therefore, if he must leave for business, or simply just a day of pleasure, he can rest easy that home will be just as good as when he left!
Okay, this next section, the part that explains, "lacks nothing of value" or "he shall have no need of spoil" blew me away. I am still pondering all that the Lord revealed to me through this phrase. All that to say, I will only have time to introduce it tonight. I'm so excited to share it all, though! God's Word is incredible and so applicable! Here's a start!...
First off, the virtuous woman's husband doesn't have to scrape around and search for $ because of his wife. In other words, she is not wasteful. In addition to bringing in income (I'll talk about that later), she is a saver. She is a wise spender. I assume that she's a "moneysavingmom!"=) Her work on the budget saves her husband money. Therefore, he can devote more time to his family!
Okay, I'm busting to go on, but the second part of this "no need of spoil" thing is the most exciting thing I've learned. It will take too long of a post for this, so I'll try to share it tomorrow. If not, it will be soon! Can't wait!...

My Journey...Part 4

I had to include this picture of Caleb! This is one of the reasons I am doing this study and trying to become the virtuous wife and mother God has called me to be!
Proverbs 31:11,12 says, "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." One part of my "job description" is to seek to please Jeremy. I should take this just as seriously as if on assignment from a boss (I guess I could consider God my "boss!"). I Corinthians 7:34b says "But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband." Henry writes "Though she is a woman of spirit herself, yet her desire is to her husband, to know his mind, that she may accomodate herself to it."
*How well do I truly know Jeremy? probably not as well as I'd like to think; our needs tend to change as we grow older and mature; I need to make "studying" him (what makes him tick) more of a priority
The virtuous woman's husband has no reason to doubt her purity. He has no reason to be jealous of her.
She is not timid but humble. The virtuous woman has found that balance of meekness yet not pushover that is so hard to achieve.
Her husband trusts her. He is relaxed, and this flows over to the rest of the family.
*Does our home promote relaxation and trust? For the most part (minus when we're running out the door and late; Ha!)
I'll have to finish this tomorrow...there's so much more to learn about the trust a virtuous woman's husband has in her! It's hubby time!=)

My Journey...Part 3

This weekend has been crazy. We actually drove to Winston last minute on Saturday to show someone our house. I put it on Craigslist late Friday night, and we've already been contacted by 5 people! Keep praying!
Just a reminder that I'm still on Proverbs 31:10 in my study. It says, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Today's entry should conclude what I've learned on that verse, and I'll move on to the other 21! The fact that this verse asks "who can find?" clearly shows me that the virtuous woman's husband sought after her. I can't tell you how many times I used to tell the teenage girls that it was the guys' "job" to search after them; not the other way around. That's really hard for so many of us! We're go getters naturally and like to take things into our own hands; control freaks in other words!
In mine and Jeremy's relationship, however, he definitely sought after me. It only took a month, however, and I was hooked! I then have to ask myself...
*Does Jeremy consider me worth his "search?" Most of the time but not always; I tend to be self-centered at times and put my own needs (and those of the boys') above his
*How then can I change things to make his "prize" more sweet/ more like the "dating years?" A couple of my many answers were: to put him as my top priority next to Christ; see Him through God's eyes; do things that speak his love language; etc.
On this topic Henry writes, "the value which he that has such a wife ought to put upon her, showing it by his thankfulness to God and his kindness and respect to her, whom he must never think he can do too much for."
Every thing that I long for from Jeremy; all the praise that I like to hear; these things can be mine if I strive to be "worth far more than rubies" as his wife; his gift from God!

Stephen's First Bowling Trip

Yes, my journey through Proverbs 31 is still continuing, but I wanted to sway from that today and blog about today's bowling trip. Jeremy has one day off each work week. Usually he takes it on Fridays. That way, we have Friday-Sunday together. We try to spend these days doing family things since our time is so limited during the week. Our trip today was to Cici's Pizza and the bowling alley. Cici's was great, of course, but a real hindrance to my Weight Watchers! Stephen was surprised by every part of our trip, since we never tell him where we're going. When we got to the bowling alley, he saw the big bowling ball and pins poster over the door. He said, "Who are we gonna see bowl?" Jeremy and I were like...YOU! This was his first time (bowling on the Wii does not count!). We were put on a lane with bumpers and found one of those hill type things for little ones to roll the ball down. It was super fun! Stephen bowled a 71; not bad for his first time. We then played in the arcade for a little while. I thought about signing Stephen up for their bowling league but...he wasn't THAT good! Ha! Soccer in April will be enough for now!

My Journey...Part 2-Continued

For some reason, my time setting on this blog is incorrect. It's like 7am Thursday morning. I wanted to finish up last night's entry before the boys got up. I love the quietness of the house this time of the morning. Anyways, still considering the definition of a virtuous woman, I learned that she is also a woman of "resolution."
*What then, have I personally resolved to do?
Let's see: stay home with the boys, be a "wife and Mom after God's own heart," put Christ first then family, minister with Jeremy, help carry the financial load somehow (this is where I'm really praying for guidance)
Looking back at my resolutions has really re-focused my approach to each day.
As a person of "resolution," the virtuous woman "will not be frightened with winds and clouds from any part of her duty"(Henry).
*What frightens me and threatens to distract me from God's calling?
A short version of the list would be: financial pressure, other women, my own agenda, the boredom and monotony of each day
*How will I keep doing and get past these "clouds?"
My personal solution: focus on time with God and living with His joy, being a wise steward of what God has given us, keeping my focus where it should be, looking past now and considering the future
That's enough for me to take in this morning. I don't just want to learn, I want to make changes. I want our life to be effected by all God is teaching me. And to think, I'm still in the first verse of this description.=)

My Journey...Part 2

Proverbs 31:10 says, "A wife of noble character(virtuous woman) who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." The phrase virtuous woman also means "a woman of strength." Henry writes that she is the "weaker vessel, yet made strong by wisdom and grace, and the fear of God."
*Am I strong because of God's power in me or do I pretend to be strong because of who I think I am? Most of the time I personally am too self-sufficient. I forget that when "I am weak, He is strong."
The word virtuous is also found in Exodus 18:21 where a good judge is decribed. The men described in Exodus are "qualified" to be judges.
*Am I "qualified" to be a wife and Mom? In my own strength, no. But this is God's calling upon my life. It is the most important thing I could ever do. Therefore, I ask myself, "how much time am I investing in being a 'qualified' wife and Mom?". Not enough. Often during the days I tend to slip into the "duty" mode as opposed to seeing it as a treasure and something I should take seriously. Based on this conclusion, I am now working on the question, "How will I make this responsibility (that of being the wife and Mom God has called me to be) more important?". Possible answers for me are: to pray over it consistently, to plan special family things, to study God's Word and other resources, to celebrate the role God has given me each day.
...And this is where I must end for tonight. We're doing 1,000 hours of prayer at the Summit, and my hour slot is quickly approaching. So much more to write...tomorrow.

My Journey...Part 1

I am (and will be for weeks) continuing to work through Matthew Henry's commentary on Proverbs 31:10-31. Referring to the description of a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, I Timothy 2, and I Peter 3, Henry writes "with good reason is so much stress laid upon it, since it contributes as much as any one thing to the keeping up of religion in families, and the entail(consequence, to bestow as a heritage) of it upon posterity(future generations, descendants)."
This statement reminded me that as women, we set the thermostat of our homes. By our actions and attitude, we encourage either peace or frustration. It's like the old, corny statement, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Like it or not, bad day or good, we set the climate of our homes. And more importantly, we set the spiritual temperature. Yes, Scripture commands the husband to be the spiritual leader, but Proverbs 6:20 also says, "My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your MOTHER'S teaching." I understand, but then I must ask myself, "in addition to God commanding it, why else (as if I need another reason) should I strive to promote Christ in our home?"
And again I say "aha!"...I will strive to set a "hot" spiritual temperature in our home because of the future I long for for Stephen and Caleb. I want our boys to have a spiritual heritage. I want them to look back on their lives and "not remember a day when they didn't know about God." My decision today sets the precedence for their homes one day; for, if I can fathom it, my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I am not just investing in today. I am not just investing in the boys. I am investing in the future. That, despite how I might feel any given day, is worth working hard for!

My Journey Through Proverbs 31

Since moving, I have had many questions. Every thing seemingly familiar to me now rests over an hour away. Many people whom I love dearly are no longer "right down the road." This step of faith has pushed me spiritually in ways I was not prepared for. Jeremy and I are very happy right now. We miss our past life but are so excited about the future. The Summit is more than we could have imagined. I thank God every day for the ministry he gave us at Union Grove and the ministry He is giving us at the Summit. Still, though, I've had questions. Life has, in a weird sorta way, kinda started over. And for me, the only place I know to look for direction is God's Word.
Last week, I re-focused my quiet time. I have laid aside my former devo's plan and am strictly studying the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. This passage has always spoken to me and been a type of guideline for the wife and mother I want to be. If I thought I knew all there was to know from the studies I've done in the past, boy was I wrong! My eyes have been re-opened, and I am again learning in overwhelming amounts. The Holy Spirit is pointing things out to me that I have overlooked for years. And in this study, my questions are being answered. I am, if it doesn't sound too silly, "finding myself" again!
The Lord has taught me so much so far that I'm anxious to share it with anyone who will listen. Jeremy may become a virtuous woman before this is all said and done! I think Proverbs 31 is so powerful for every woman out there who strives to have a heart for God. I'm gonna post every day or so what I'm learning in hopes that it may encourage someone else. Please let me know if the Holy Spirit shows you something I may have overlooked. I am looking forward to learning and sharing as I grow.

House Hunting

This week has included 2 days of house hunting in Durham. On one trip, Stephen and I tackled the search with our agent while Jeremy worked. Last night, Jeremy, Caleb, and I went while Stephen stayed with my parents. All in all, we have found nothing. I should clarify "nothing." We have not found a house that fits what we are looking for. We've seen big houses and small houses; old and new construction. We haven't, however, gotten that tingly "this is it" feeling that we're so desperately waiting for. Does the search continue? Not right now; not for me at least. My mind is overwhelmed with all these houses. In fact, our best option right now is to build. And knowing me and Jeremy, this is probably what we'll do. We really enjoyed the building process with our last home. And speaking of our last home, no, it has not sold. Jeremy and I are just taking a step of faith and looking anyways. Maybe that's why we can't find anything. Maybe it's not time. I'm not really sure, but I will keep everyone posted. The search could begin again any day. We'll see...

10%...Yay!

Since moving, I have been going to Weight Watchers with my Mom. I've always thought the program seemed effective and have been intrigued. I also liked the idea that you could eat flexibly, which is great for someone as picky as me. All that to say, Mom and I joined the first week of December. I have enjoyed spending this time with her, and Stephen has enjoyed spending it "working" with my Dad at his shop. Caleb, bless his heart, tags along with us. The program has worked very well for me, and I've had a great time working through it. I joined with the goal of getting off my "Caleb weight." While pregnant with him, I ate and ate and loved every minute of it! Assuming it would be my last pregnancy, I wanted to "go all out." And boy did I! These past 9 weeks I have focused hard on re-learning how to eat. I've tried to make smarter choices. My mindset in this has been to learn how to control myself for God's glory. For me personally, I do not have the confidence to serve Him like I should when I don't feel good about myself. This might sound crazy, but it truly affects my walk. So today, praise the Lord, I met my 10% weight loss goal! It's not much, but I am very excited! I'm back to my "pre-Caleb" weight and more importantly, back in my jeans! Yay! I'd still like to lose some more but am very grateful for making it this far. I'll definetly keep everyone posted.

Understanding the Miracle a Little More

For legal reasons, Jeremy and I had to get a copy of Stephen's medical records. Neither Jeremy nor I had ever looked at them before. I'm really not sure if we ever really wanted to. Regardless, when the large envelope arrived in the mail yesterday, I could not resist. It was time for me to actually understand what Stephen had endured. I was overwhelmed. My mind attempted to understand all the large words and Dr. lingo. Late last night, I jumped on the internet and began looking up various terms on wikipedia. I did search after search and looked at picture after picture. Several times I simply put my head in my hands to give my spinning brain a break. After awhile, though, I began to understand.
Jeremy and I have always known that Stephen tore all the ligaments connecting his skull and his first 2 vertebrae. What I never realized was how many vital systems are located in this area. The control system for every body movement can be found around the area Stephen damaged. He could have easily suffered paralysis. I read how he had swelling that partially entered the space that connects his spinal cord to his brain. This too could have become serious, damaging parts of Stephen's brain. I can still hardly understand how much worse things could have been.
The last article I read last night was about an 18 year old girl who had the same injury (occipital cervical dislocation) and surgery as our 16 month old had. She was in recovery for more than 8 months where Stephen's only lasted about 3 or 4. One of the last phrases in the medical report, however, was next to unbelieveable. I quote: "Occipital cervical dissociation or dislocation is rare in the surviving trauma patient. These injuries are usually associated with high cervical cord injury followed by death. The injury is highly unstable." Can I say more?
Both Jeremy and I understand that Stephen will forever have limitations. We know there will probably be times of frustration. As parents, we anticipate moments of explanation as Stephen grows. Most importantly, though, we can hardly wait to share with our son the miracle God did in his life. Our Father left Stephen here for a purpose. I have chills as I write this. Things could have been so different. Our God is SO amazing! Today, once again, I celebrate this miracle!

We LOVE it outside!

Yesterday morning we took Caleb for a follow-up at the Dr. Praise the Lord he is doing much better! He is wheezing some now, however, so the Dr. put him on a breathing treatment for a couple days. Caleb takes it very well, and it seems to be making a difference.
When we got home, I was amazed at how warm it was outside. I guess I forgot to "turn up the music" with all the rushing around I had been doing. Mom took Caleb in for his nap while Stephen and I enjoyed the sunshine. We ran around the backyard with both our 2 dogs and my parents' 2. Stephen had the best time! He laughed and laughed as each dog attempted to play with or avoid him. I carried him picky bag some as we dodged dog poop in the yard! Ha! When naptime came, I told Stephen that he could take his nap outside. He was SO excited!
We both went in the house and gathered lots of blankets and 2 pillows. After searching, Stephen settled on the "perfect" sunny spot in Mom's front yard. We layed one blanket down and then covered up with the rest. It took awhile for Stephen to settle down and ignore the sounds of the airplanes above and cars driving by. I thought at one point that I had made a bad decision. Finally, though, Stephen pulled the blanket over his head and fell asleep. He laid out there for about 2 hours and slept as good as if in his own warm bed. It was precious!
Praise God for warm days. Praise Him even more that I get to spend it with my boys!