Christmas Eve will mark the 1 year anniversary of my Paw-Paw's homegoing. This time last year, he was in the hospital, and we were wondering what lay ahead. I was in the midst of spending as much time as possible with him and praying for God's peace and will to transpire in his life.
There are so many things I could write about Paw-Paw. You can read my deepest thoughts about him in a post I did last February. The link is:
http://tiffanylovesherboys.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2009-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=2010-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=50
Tonight Jeremy and I were talking about last year's Christmas, and 2 things came to mind that mark last year as memorable. The first was Paw-Paw's death on Christmas Eve, and the mixed emotion of sadness and joy that all of us felt. The other was the shock of finding out were expecting our precious Jonathan.
It still amazes me that last year as I wept for the loss of one life, God was intricately creating a new one deep inside me. I felt the outer pain of loss while God knew the inner joy He was making.
My sweetest memory of the end of Paw-Paw's life was the last smile he gave me as he lays only days away from death. His eyes seemed to look right through mine as he smiled the most innocent, "I love you" smile you can imagine. Even now, I'm brought to tears as I remember that smile that lit up his entire face before he left this world.
And now, I have the sweet, innocent smile of Jonathan each morning. He looks at me with those big blue eyes, and I feel true love to the core. I get giddy inside and laugh outloud when I see those sweet lips turn up.
Who would have thought this time last year that the Lord would have given and taken away in such an amazing way? His plans are perfect, and I'll cherish every smile.
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