House Hunting Continued=)

Thanks to everyone for the encouraging comments you left on my last post. This past Thursday, August 27th, was less emotional than I had planned on. I think sharing my heart with everyone and knowing that they were praying made a huge difference. I got up Thursday morning (at Jeremy's parent's house) and thought "Too bad everything's closed since today's a holiday!" It was such a weird feeling. I literally had to tell myself all day that it wasn't really a holiday and probably no different than any other day for the rest of the world. The day was good, though. We spent the morning at Chuck E. Cheese, and I took a good long nap with Stephen in the afternoon. We didn't get back to Durham til like 10:30 that night. The only time I really had to fight back the tears was from 6:30-7:00. It was that whole, "we're headed out the door like any other night...we just had the wreck...Stephen's not conscious...we're sitting in the car waiting...and so on." I had to force those negative thoughts (and scary memories) out of my mind and focus on the present. God's will is so amazing!
Anyhoo, as the title implies, we are house hunting again...kinda. We made an offer on a house last week, but the bank has countered back a little higher than we're comfortable with. We're still on that offer, and I'm not sure what our next move will be. In the meantime, we've looked at more houses and found another one that we really like. Our realtor is getting together more details for us, and we may pursue this one as opposed to the first. I'll keep everyone posted. We have to be out of the apartment on October 17, so we've got a little more time. Picking a home is so important! And way tougher if you didn't build it! We'll see...=)




Stephen at his first Hillandale soccer game.


Stephen "driving" Caleb at Chuck E. Cheese.


Caleb "driving" himself!=)

This is the that Day the Lord has Made...

I'm going to go ahead and blog now, because we will be out of town Wednesday and Thursday. First off, thank you so much to those who have supported us this week whether through commenting on here, phone calls, or e-mails. It really has made a difference. We've felt love and support, just like we did 2 years ago in the middle of our storm. Thank you!

Since my last post, I have been keeping more busy than I thought I could handle. Getting out of the house has helped me focus on other things besides myself. The list of accomplishments include: We signed the final paperwork to close the court case on the wreck. This was a huge relief, and something we've wanted closure on for 2 years now. Stephen had his first Hillandale soccer practice and was as cute as ever. Seeing him run around that field is an amazing blessing. There were moments where even the Dr.'s questioned if this would be possible. His first game is Saturday, and we can hardly wait. Stephen also had a follow-up eye appointment from the surgery that was done in February. Tears came to my eyes as they put the little temporary patch over his eye to check his vision. We dealt with 3 hours of patching for a year straight and are so grateful that phase of our life is done. The Dr. again said that Stephen's vision is perfect, and he will not have to go back for 6 more months. Caleb took 6 wobbly steps this week. I'm expecting him to take off any day now. He's been into everything, and I know it will worsen tremendously when he does start walking!=) Jeremy and I made an offer on a house in Durham. Presently, we've countered back with the bank and are waiting on a response. I'll keep everyone posted. So, that list of things, plus many more that I just can't think of, have kept me focused on the present as opposed to dwelling on the past.

With it being the 2 year anniversary, we've also made contact with so many people who played a part during that time. I talked to Jade on Monday, and he is continuing to do well. I told him again how much we loved him and think of him every day. If the compassion we have for Jade only touches the love our Father has for us, I cannot even comprehend it. It's like nothing I've ever felt. We've also sent thank you notes to both David Arnold (who got Stephen out of the car) and Suzanne and her family (who did CPR on Stephen...I still question how to truly say thank you to her...God used her to give us back our child...Words are too futile). I also e-mailed Sally Gupton and told her thanks for the amazing pictures she took last year on the 1 year anniversary. I've contacted Baptist Hospital and found out that one of our favorite nurses, Adeleh, will be working on Wednesday. We plan to go and visit her before speaking at the Grove later that night. As far as Thursday goes, the only thing I know we're doing is spending it as a family. Jeremy's off work, and we'll still be in Winston. Being together that day is really the most important thing for our family. As much as I will wish the day away and cry as if it were happening all over, I will be full of thankfulness. Discerning tears of joy and sorrow will be difficult to do.

So, to sum up my "anniversary post," thanks to all of you, family and friends, past and present, who "loved us like Jesus and carried us to Him." Your love for us was truly selfless and a direct reflection of your love for the Savior. We were overwhelmed, and I know He was pleased. To Jade, if you even read our blog, we love you. God had a plan for you that day just as He did us. You were in that other car for a reason, and He left you on this Earth for a purpose. We share a bond with you that no one else in this world could ever understand. You sat in your car that evening and waited just like we did. You healed in that hospital just like we did. You went through the painful hours of physical therapy just like we did. You understand. Our prayer is that you will one day come to know the Father's love just like we did. That you will find forgiveness in His mercy just like we did. That you will understand. We pray for you each day. We love you. To Stephen, your Daddy and Mommy are so thankful for you. You have endured more than most 3 year olds, and we pray it will only make you stronger. God gave you back to us that day when He could have taken you Home. He has a plan for your life, and we will support you as you follow His leading. Thank you for the opportunity of loving you. Let's "turn up the music" every day and celebrate with our whole hearts. To Caleb, you are the child God intended us to have. We have not forgotten the child God took that day. Our hearts yearn for the day we get to see him or her face to face. Your presence, however, and that cute little grin have done more than ease the pain. They have let us see life as something new, something fresh. We are so grateful for you and would not change things. God wanted you, Caleb, to be in our family, and we are reminded by each smile that His plans are perfect. To Jeremy, what can I say? It has been a long road. We've come so far, but I know we'll never be the same. I'm just glad we're travelling it together. You are my partner, my friend. The one God intended me to love life with. The memories of those uncertain weeks still haunt me. The pictures in my mind of you in that coma come back more than I'd like. They are all washed away, though, by your love. By the silly smile you give me when I say something off the wall. By the way you rough house with Stephen on the floor. Just by the way you hold me at night and let me be me. Thank you. I love you more today than you could understand. Let's keep serving our Healer together as long as we have life! And lastly, to our Father, what can I say? The storm was long and uncertain. But You were there. You held our hands all along the way. You weren't surprised by any doctor's report or surgery. Thank You for being so real to us during that time. Thank You for letting us cry to You and truly understanding. Thank You for our Storm. Thank You for another day. We can hardly wait to bow at Your feet and truly say thank You.

So on Thursday, August 27, and every other day, our family will say, "This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."..................



One of the pictures Sally took of Stephen last year


Me and Caleb at Stephen's last t-ball game


Stephen at his first Hillandale soccer practice


While I was getting ready the other morning, Caleb found a fun play place under the bathroom sink.


Jeremy and Stephen the day we signed our final court papers on the wreck.


I took this picture out the front window of our car on the way to the beach a couple weeks ago. It depicted so perfectly the storm God must have seen us driving into on August 27, 2007. He had a plan.

My Little Bubble

So it has been almost 2 weeks since I've blogged (and even longer since I've posted pictures)...Let me try my best to explain why...Not sure how this will come across...

It's August, as everyone knows, but for me, that means I've entered my "bubble." I call it my bubble, because it's a quiet place where I hide myself and let go of my emotions all by myself. I find my bubble on our back porch, on the bed, in my car, and anywhere else where the memories come flooding back. It's my little place, and I've been there more than not lately. Here's why:

Once we enter August, it becomes "the month we had the wreck." I count down the days until the 27th and then wish that day away. September hits, and then I count down the days til the 20th, reliving each day in the hospital as if it were last week. My bubble "pops" on the 21st when I have the peace that our family is "at home" again.

During this time, I must admit to you that I shut a lot of things out. I don't have the energy or true emotion to commit to things I can avoid. I try to busy myself with family and cherish the moments that God has graciously given us. Sometimes I just sit and think. I try to focus on the positives and all God has done but am often overwhelmed by sadness.

Please don't judge me, I am so thankful for God's grace. I realize that He could have taken Jeremy and Stephen 2 years ago and that the 27th could be a day of true sorrow. I thank him for the gift of my family. That doesn't, however, take away the pain. It can't erase the memories of the comas and the breathing tubes and all those moments of uncertainty. I trust God and know His ways are perfect, but I cannot pretend to be a "super Christian." It still hurts, especially now.

For some reason, this 2 year anniversary has even been harder than last year. I guess it's because we were so busy last year with Fox 8, the special service at church, finishing the book, etc, that I really didn't have time to think about everything. I'm not as busy this year and have found myself in a new place; a new home. Thankfully, though, God hasn't changed. He still understand, and He wipes away my tears daily.

So, I guess I'm writing this to say that I'll be back to blogging once my bubbles pops.=) Or maybe when it just gets a little smaller, and I can focus more. We would appreciate your prayers. Please thank God also when you do pray for the amazing miracle He has done in our lives. His plans are perfect! Thanks!=)

Why all the coughing?????

How many times during the past 2 weeks have Jeremy and I been stirred out of sleep by Stephen coughing? For how many months this year will his nagging cough continue? What other type of medicine could we try? Feel the frustration?...it's there (in the form of exhaustion). About every other month, Stephen gets "the cough." We take him to the Dr., they "diagnose" him with this sickness or that, he continually gets worse, they put him on steroids, and it finally goes away (only to return the next month). Just recently we had another bout with him coughing. I took him to the Dr. last Thursday before we went out of town, because the cough had started up again. I didn't want to get to the beach, and then it get worse. My $15 copay only got me the "It's no big deal; just a cold; give it time to pass." Agreed...until the cough worsened while we were gone. This past Monday, the day after we got home, Caleb thankfully had his 9 month check-up. He, by the way, is in the 75% in weight and 93% in height. He's only 7 inches shorter than Stephen. Anyways, Stephen went with us to Caleb' appointment, and the nurse immediately picked up on the fact that Stephen's cough had worsened since she last saw him. A new Dr. was on call, and he checked Stephen over as they usually do. He asked Jeremy and I questions, and I'm sure he could sense the frustration in our voices. I'm not sure if I'm relieved by his conclusion or concerned, but this Dr. believes that Stephen has asthma. He can't officially diagnose him with it til he gets older, but that's his best guess right now. He also said that he may grow out of it. They gave us an inhaler, which Stephen uses each night before bed. We can also use it during the day as needed. His cough has gotten better, and we have gotten a little more sleep. Stephen does great with the inhaler. It's actually connected to a face mask, and he thinks it's so cool that he can't see the medicine! We have "blowing" contest in the little tube that connects the inhaler and face mask. Hopefully, this will help, and it seems to already. Just another bump in the road, but hey, no big deal! We're just thankful to have him!=)

Beach Times!

Do things feel totally out of control for anyone else besides me when you return home from a trip with kids? Unbelieveable! I feel like I am doing nothing but playing catch-up! Was it worth it, though? Of course!!! I'll let the pictures do the explaining!

We had lunch and spent Sunday afternoon at downtown Wilmington. There were so many great spots to take pictures. "Kissing pictures" are the best!


I sure do love my hubby!=)


Stephen grinning after he "climbed" a wall.


Stephen and Caleb doing what they do!=)


Caleb posing!


We spent Friday on the beach. We were trying to take a cute picture of the boys, and Stephen dropped a bunch of wet sand on Caleb's head. This kind of stuff happens all the time!


Our family at the beach (We were ready to head back and get cleaned up. The feeling of sand is so yucky to me!)


Stephen and Caleb sharing (for the moment) some sandbuckets.


Stephen made a new friend on the beach!=)


Caleb spent most of his time playing in the sand. He was literally covered before we left. You'll notice the homemade bandage on his toe. He has this crazy sore from crawling, and normal bandaids just won't cut it.


Yes, it is what it looks like, Stephen had to pee-pee in the water!=)


He must have ran a hundred circles when we first got there!


Stephen loves the beach way more than his Mommy and Daddy. The wet sand doesn't seem to bother him.


This is the view I had when staying with the UG girls on Thursday night. It was so much fun! The sessions went great, and I loved laughing it up with everyone like old times. I love and miss these girls so much!