50 First Dates...Not Really!

Sung these words at church Saturday night:

"You stay the same through the ages.
Your love never changes.
There may be pain in the night,
But joy comes in the morning.
And when the oceans rage,
I don't have to be afraid.
Because I know that you love me;
Your love never changes.
You make all things work together for my good."

Let me admit that I often struggle with songs like these. I feel like we sing empty words and don't realize what we're really declaring to the Lord. Often I find myself mute, really thinking through the words and discerning if I can sing them with an honest, pure heart. Maybe I'm overthinking this, but it's true.

My "toughest song" has been and still is the "Blessed Be Your Name" one. I can still barely utter the phrase, "You give and take away; my heart will choose to say; Lord, blessed be Your name." Really? If He takes it all away will I really choose to say "Bless the Lord's name."

Some of you are thinking that yes, I'd do this, I did it in 2007 when we had our wreck. And yes, by God's grace I did, but I think in reality I still question what my response would be if it all happened again-if God rocked my world and took away everything I hold dear. I just don't know. I pray He would give me the grace to respond in blessing to Him again but really, who can be sure? I know the right answer, and I can easily sing it in church, but do I really mean it? Really??

Anyways, all of this crazy, blow your mind thinking led me to make a list. Yes, 50 things to be exact, that God did in my life in August 2007 that I can look back on and say, "You make all things work together for my good." I think I've known these things all along, but it was freeing to finally write them all down. And I didn't set out to make most of them "spiritual." Seriously, that just kind of happened.

So, for those of you who are still reading this entirely too long and drawn out blog post, I'll begin my list. And for those of you who make it through all 50, God bless your hearts! This is a lot of stuff:=)

1-Deeper relationship with Christ
2-Saw true miracles
3-Witnessed the power of prayer
4-Realized He's all I need
5-Saw His working in intricate details
6-Understood bigger purposes/big picture
7-Overwhelming peace
8-Forgiving love
9-"Preciousness" of life
10-Each day he's ordained
11-Celebrate!
12-Health is a blessing; don't take it for granted
13-He's always there
14-True joy is found in him
15-We can represent him without a word
16-His word is powerful
17-Every day is ordained
18-Extended family is priceless
19-Sacrificial love
20-Humility
21-Grief process
22-Silence is often best
23-Friendship rocks
24-His strength is perfect
25-Be real
26-Life can stink, but he's faithful
27-Love of church family
28-Patience
29-Our children aren't ours-God has a plan
30-How to laugh (look for it!)
31-Life keeps moving
32-Hurting people are everywhere
33-Money is a tool
34-Letting go
35-Perseverance
36-Look for opportunities to share him
37-Rest
38-Thinking before speaking
39-Always say I love you
40-He provides
41-Music is powerful
42-God knows/sees everything
43-He understands a deeper pain than mine
44-Drs/nurses are called by God and need our prayer
45-Don't take for granted the little things
46-God wants to use our kids now
47-Adoption
48-He sees way down the road
49-Heaven is sweet
50-Quietness of soul

There they are...some of them are so random and could probably use an explanation, but I think you get the point...through one huge, life changing event, God taught me things that could have taken a lifetime. Really? What a blessing in disguise. Is my heart learning to say "You give and take away, Lord, blessed be your name" even as I write this? Hmmm???

Anyways, to reward anyone who labored through this entire post, here are some practical, somewhat embarrassing things I also learned=):

How to use a:
-Sliding board
-Wheelchair
-Walker
-Bed pan
-Portable potty thing
How to load a handicap van (yep, on the little lift thing!)
How to get around with only my left hand, including:
-Drying my hair
-Putting in my contacts
-Eating
-Etc, Etc, Etc
How x-rays, MRI's, etc. work
The different bones and how they can be broken
The way kids' necks and eyes are made
How "fun" physical therapy is (Ha!)...How heavy a can of corn can feel!
How to strap on the "cast protection" bath thingies
How to not take a bath for weeks
How to let others bathe you, wipe you (is that too much info???), etc.
Pretty much, how to be a baby again...totally reliant on others!

And if you'd like, I can demonstrate for you how to move around the room on your butt, using only your left hand for support and not putting any weight on either leg. It's pretty awesome! Ha!

So, there you have it. God really does have a plan...and that plan, no matter how tough, offers us the greatest gift of all, Himself and His love!