In 2005, my Paw-Paw, Leonard David Hall Sr., went into the hospital for a routine surgery. At that time, we had no idea it would nearly take his life. Due to some complications, he was airlifted to UNC Hospital. After weeks of uncertainty, Paw-Paw turned the corner and by God's grace went home. His kidneys, however, had shut down, and his life would forever be dependent on dialysis.
For nearly 5 years now, our family has watched Paw-Paw being loaded into a handicap van and transported to dialysis 3 times each week. He would come home at the end of each day tired and often irritable. My Maw-Maw, demonstrating to us the true love of a wife, would tirelessly take care of him day in and day out. She put her life on hold for the man that she loved while enduring frustration and often a lack of appreciation.
As the years passed, Paw-Paw grew tired. I could see in his eyes each time that I visited that he was ready to leave this world. Paw-Paw accepted the Lord as a young man, and he knew where he would spend eternity. There were many days where I'm sure he questioned why the Lord left him here. During those 5 years, however, we did make many more memories, and Paw-Paw was able to enjoy life through the birth of 2 great grandchildren. He always had dreams of taking them fishing and riding them through his pasture, but I know in his heart, he knew it would never happen here on this earth.
These desires for my 2 boys, his great grandchildren, are the memories I cherish of Paw-Paw. He was a farmer, and I grew up with only a pasture separating my parents' home from theirs. Needless to say, I was spoiled rotten!
As a little girl, I would spent the night with Paw-Paw and Maw-Maw most Friday nights. Paw-Paw would play games with me til late at night. Our favorite was UNO, and I finally got good enough to beat him! He taught me how to stand on my head, and we loved to show off our "special skill" to unsuspecting visitors. On some nights, Paw-Paw would pretend it was Christmas and deliver me all kinds of toys, as if Santa had come! When Christmas really did come, often I prided myself in getting the best "Paw-Paw presents." I still cherish the necklaces and bracelets Paw-Paw surprised me with.
During warm summer days, he would let me "drive" the tractor through the fields and swing on the gates. He'd talk to me about his cows as if they were a part of our family. I'd even sneak tobacco out of his truck when he wasn't looking! He took me to the cow auction and bought me a cow. Later we sold that cow (and its calves) to help pay for my college!=) After bailing hay, he'd stack them up and let me climb all over them. I was "queen of the pasture!"
I was also Paw-Paw's personal secretary. He had his hand in many types of business, and I loved going into his office and "organizing" all his paperwork. Even to this day, I am amazed at all the people who owed Paw-Paw money. He was such a giver that even after I had written all their names down on paper, he'd shrug it off. Paw-Paw taught me how to save, how to count pennies, but more importantly he taught me how to give. He was tight with his money, but only so he could help others.
Paw-Paw helped me and Maw-Maw throw some crazy parties at their house! On Halloween, in particular, he'd take old cardboard boxes and make the world's largest maze in his warehouse! As young girls, my friends and I would climb through until the duct tape fell off the cardboard walls. Paw-Paw often seemed like a kid; one of us!
I think I rode in the back of Paw-Paw's truck more than in the cab. He'd drive me down to the corner store and let me get candy. He bought me this pet and that. Between him and Maw-Maw, we must have owned every pet imaginable! Paw-Paw loved animals like I do, and it always seemed like they could sense it.
Paw-Paw was also my softball coach. We spent untold hours in the backyard "practicing" pitching techniques for the next big game. Paw-Paw would take me into his arms and throw me into the air as high as he could! One day, I finally got too big, and we all had to admit that I was growing up.
As I got older, I still spent as much time with Paw-Paw and Maw-Maw as I could. I would always honk my car horn when I drove by their house. One honk, and they knew I was headed out; two honks, and they knew I was back home. Paw-Paw would come to my high school ball games and cheer me on from the sidelines. He was sure to have some "coaching suggestions," though, when the game was over.
When Jeremy and I got married, I convinced Paw-Paw to lay the farm clothes away and wear a tux! He and Maw-Maw looked so beautiful! Paw-Paw rolled out the white carpet for me right before my Dad walked me down the aisle.
When I moved away, he would come and visit whenever possible, or I would go down there. Even with a husband and kids of my own, I was still his little girl. I'm not sure if I ever grew up in his eyes. I've always been that little blonde-headed farm girl, Paw-Paw's pride and joy.
Two weeks ago, while on our way to Winston, Mom called my cell phone to let me know that Paw-Paw was sick. They had called 911, and medical teams were on their way. This had happened before, but this time something in my heart told me I needed to go down there. Without hesitation, Jeremy turned the car, and we headed down those country roads to Maw-Maw and Paw-Paw's house. By the time we got there, Paw-Paw was being loaded onto a stretcher and put into the ambulance. As they were shutting the back doors, I looked around the corner and told Paw-Paw that I loved him. In his ususal fashion, he responded, "Same here, baby."
Those were the last 3 words I ever heard Paw-Paw clearly say. After being taken to the hospital, many tests were run, but it was never clearly determined why Paw-Paw had gotten so sick that night. He began to develop dementia and rarely spoke words that were understandable. After many prayers and tears, my Dad and Maw-Maw decided it was time. No more tests were to be done on Paw-Paw, and he was removed from dialysis. As this point, we knew he could go at anytime.
During these 2 weeks of waiting, I spent as much time as I could at the hospital. Jeremy was so amazing in his willingness to stay home and keep the boys. By choice, I always went to see Paw-Paw by myself. I would stand by his hospital bed and stroke his hair. I'd rub his cheeks and tell him that I loved him. I'd hold those big hands in mine and remember how I used to think Paw-Paw was indestructible. I'd place my hand on his chest and feel his heart beat.
One time in particular, I know Paw-Paw heard my voice. He barely opened his eyes and looked right at me. He then broke into the widest grin I've ever seen. His nurse was astonished. She said that was the first time he'd opened his eyes all day. Needless to say, I again covered his face with tears.
On Christmas Eve, I got the call I had been waiting for. Paw-Paw had finally left this world. Jeremy put both the boys to bed and reassured me he could handle doing "Santa Clause" that night. I headed over to the hospital where my parents and Maw-Maw were waiting.
In that quiet hospital room, I finally saw Paw-Paw at peace. He was resting. It was as if he had simply fallen asleep. I felt his chest again, but this time there was no beating. I knew he was gone. As much as I wanted to weep, the tears barely came. This is what Paw-Paw wanted. He had endured pain for nearly five years, and now he felt it no more. I looked at the bruises on his arms and rejoiced in my heart that he was now in a perfect body. He was full of life; the life that I remembered Paw-Paw having.
The funeral visitation and funeral went as expected. I'm always amazed at the love and support people give us. Jeremy performed Paw-Paw's funeral, and I was so proud of him! I would have never thought, as a little girl, that God would give me such a Godly man; a man who so amazingly shared God's Word at Paw-Paw's homegoing.
As we adjust to life without Paw-Paw, I know it will take time. Walking into their house and seeing Paw-Paw's empty chair will probably always cause a lump to rise in my throat. Knowing where he is, though, gives me a peace beyond understanding. It was Paw-Paw's time, and as each day passes, I long for Heaven a little more.
I love you Paw-Paw! Can't wait to see you soon!
I can see Paw-Paw's love for me in his eyes (and I was only 2 years old).
Paw-Paw's little girl
Drinking a glass- bottled Pepsi with Paw-Paw
On a family vacation, cuddling with Paw-Paw
Mine and Jeremy's wedding
Paw-Paw kisses!
Our family in 2003
Paw-Paw with Stephen, his first great grandchild
This picture was taken at Thanksgiving. It's one of the last pictures we have of Paw-Paw.
