My Journey...Part 2

Proverbs 31:10 says, "A wife of noble character(virtuous woman) who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." The phrase virtuous woman also means "a woman of strength." Henry writes that she is the "weaker vessel, yet made strong by wisdom and grace, and the fear of God."
*Am I strong because of God's power in me or do I pretend to be strong because of who I think I am? Most of the time I personally am too self-sufficient. I forget that when "I am weak, He is strong."
The word virtuous is also found in Exodus 18:21 where a good judge is decribed. The men described in Exodus are "qualified" to be judges.
*Am I "qualified" to be a wife and Mom? In my own strength, no. But this is God's calling upon my life. It is the most important thing I could ever do. Therefore, I ask myself, "how much time am I investing in being a 'qualified' wife and Mom?". Not enough. Often during the days I tend to slip into the "duty" mode as opposed to seeing it as a treasure and something I should take seriously. Based on this conclusion, I am now working on the question, "How will I make this responsibility (that of being the wife and Mom God has called me to be) more important?". Possible answers for me are: to pray over it consistently, to plan special family things, to study God's Word and other resources, to celebrate the role God has given me each day.
...And this is where I must end for tonight. We're doing 1,000 hours of prayer at the Summit, and my hour slot is quickly approaching. So much more to write...tomorrow.

My Journey...Part 1

I am (and will be for weeks) continuing to work through Matthew Henry's commentary on Proverbs 31:10-31. Referring to the description of a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, I Timothy 2, and I Peter 3, Henry writes "with good reason is so much stress laid upon it, since it contributes as much as any one thing to the keeping up of religion in families, and the entail(consequence, to bestow as a heritage) of it upon posterity(future generations, descendants)."
This statement reminded me that as women, we set the thermostat of our homes. By our actions and attitude, we encourage either peace or frustration. It's like the old, corny statement, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Like it or not, bad day or good, we set the climate of our homes. And more importantly, we set the spiritual temperature. Yes, Scripture commands the husband to be the spiritual leader, but Proverbs 6:20 also says, "My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your MOTHER'S teaching." I understand, but then I must ask myself, "in addition to God commanding it, why else (as if I need another reason) should I strive to promote Christ in our home?"
And again I say "aha!"...I will strive to set a "hot" spiritual temperature in our home because of the future I long for for Stephen and Caleb. I want our boys to have a spiritual heritage. I want them to look back on their lives and "not remember a day when they didn't know about God." My decision today sets the precedence for their homes one day; for, if I can fathom it, my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I am not just investing in today. I am not just investing in the boys. I am investing in the future. That, despite how I might feel any given day, is worth working hard for!

My Journey Through Proverbs 31

Since moving, I have had many questions. Every thing seemingly familiar to me now rests over an hour away. Many people whom I love dearly are no longer "right down the road." This step of faith has pushed me spiritually in ways I was not prepared for. Jeremy and I are very happy right now. We miss our past life but are so excited about the future. The Summit is more than we could have imagined. I thank God every day for the ministry he gave us at Union Grove and the ministry He is giving us at the Summit. Still, though, I've had questions. Life has, in a weird sorta way, kinda started over. And for me, the only place I know to look for direction is God's Word.
Last week, I re-focused my quiet time. I have laid aside my former devo's plan and am strictly studying the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. This passage has always spoken to me and been a type of guideline for the wife and mother I want to be. If I thought I knew all there was to know from the studies I've done in the past, boy was I wrong! My eyes have been re-opened, and I am again learning in overwhelming amounts. The Holy Spirit is pointing things out to me that I have overlooked for years. And in this study, my questions are being answered. I am, if it doesn't sound too silly, "finding myself" again!
The Lord has taught me so much so far that I'm anxious to share it with anyone who will listen. Jeremy may become a virtuous woman before this is all said and done! I think Proverbs 31 is so powerful for every woman out there who strives to have a heart for God. I'm gonna post every day or so what I'm learning in hopes that it may encourage someone else. Please let me know if the Holy Spirit shows you something I may have overlooked. I am looking forward to learning and sharing as I grow.

House Hunting

This week has included 2 days of house hunting in Durham. On one trip, Stephen and I tackled the search with our agent while Jeremy worked. Last night, Jeremy, Caleb, and I went while Stephen stayed with my parents. All in all, we have found nothing. I should clarify "nothing." We have not found a house that fits what we are looking for. We've seen big houses and small houses; old and new construction. We haven't, however, gotten that tingly "this is it" feeling that we're so desperately waiting for. Does the search continue? Not right now; not for me at least. My mind is overwhelmed with all these houses. In fact, our best option right now is to build. And knowing me and Jeremy, this is probably what we'll do. We really enjoyed the building process with our last home. And speaking of our last home, no, it has not sold. Jeremy and I are just taking a step of faith and looking anyways. Maybe that's why we can't find anything. Maybe it's not time. I'm not really sure, but I will keep everyone posted. The search could begin again any day. We'll see...

10%...Yay!

Since moving, I have been going to Weight Watchers with my Mom. I've always thought the program seemed effective and have been intrigued. I also liked the idea that you could eat flexibly, which is great for someone as picky as me. All that to say, Mom and I joined the first week of December. I have enjoyed spending this time with her, and Stephen has enjoyed spending it "working" with my Dad at his shop. Caleb, bless his heart, tags along with us. The program has worked very well for me, and I've had a great time working through it. I joined with the goal of getting off my "Caleb weight." While pregnant with him, I ate and ate and loved every minute of it! Assuming it would be my last pregnancy, I wanted to "go all out." And boy did I! These past 9 weeks I have focused hard on re-learning how to eat. I've tried to make smarter choices. My mindset in this has been to learn how to control myself for God's glory. For me personally, I do not have the confidence to serve Him like I should when I don't feel good about myself. This might sound crazy, but it truly affects my walk. So today, praise the Lord, I met my 10% weight loss goal! It's not much, but I am very excited! I'm back to my "pre-Caleb" weight and more importantly, back in my jeans! Yay! I'd still like to lose some more but am very grateful for making it this far. I'll definetly keep everyone posted.

Understanding the Miracle a Little More

For legal reasons, Jeremy and I had to get a copy of Stephen's medical records. Neither Jeremy nor I had ever looked at them before. I'm really not sure if we ever really wanted to. Regardless, when the large envelope arrived in the mail yesterday, I could not resist. It was time for me to actually understand what Stephen had endured. I was overwhelmed. My mind attempted to understand all the large words and Dr. lingo. Late last night, I jumped on the internet and began looking up various terms on wikipedia. I did search after search and looked at picture after picture. Several times I simply put my head in my hands to give my spinning brain a break. After awhile, though, I began to understand.
Jeremy and I have always known that Stephen tore all the ligaments connecting his skull and his first 2 vertebrae. What I never realized was how many vital systems are located in this area. The control system for every body movement can be found around the area Stephen damaged. He could have easily suffered paralysis. I read how he had swelling that partially entered the space that connects his spinal cord to his brain. This too could have become serious, damaging parts of Stephen's brain. I can still hardly understand how much worse things could have been.
The last article I read last night was about an 18 year old girl who had the same injury (occipital cervical dislocation) and surgery as our 16 month old had. She was in recovery for more than 8 months where Stephen's only lasted about 3 or 4. One of the last phrases in the medical report, however, was next to unbelieveable. I quote: "Occipital cervical dissociation or dislocation is rare in the surviving trauma patient. These injuries are usually associated with high cervical cord injury followed by death. The injury is highly unstable." Can I say more?
Both Jeremy and I understand that Stephen will forever have limitations. We know there will probably be times of frustration. As parents, we anticipate moments of explanation as Stephen grows. Most importantly, though, we can hardly wait to share with our son the miracle God did in his life. Our Father left Stephen here for a purpose. I have chills as I write this. Things could have been so different. Our God is SO amazing! Today, once again, I celebrate this miracle!

We LOVE it outside!

Yesterday morning we took Caleb for a follow-up at the Dr. Praise the Lord he is doing much better! He is wheezing some now, however, so the Dr. put him on a breathing treatment for a couple days. Caleb takes it very well, and it seems to be making a difference.
When we got home, I was amazed at how warm it was outside. I guess I forgot to "turn up the music" with all the rushing around I had been doing. Mom took Caleb in for his nap while Stephen and I enjoyed the sunshine. We ran around the backyard with both our 2 dogs and my parents' 2. Stephen had the best time! He laughed and laughed as each dog attempted to play with or avoid him. I carried him picky bag some as we dodged dog poop in the yard! Ha! When naptime came, I told Stephen that he could take his nap outside. He was SO excited!
We both went in the house and gathered lots of blankets and 2 pillows. After searching, Stephen settled on the "perfect" sunny spot in Mom's front yard. We layed one blanket down and then covered up with the rest. It took awhile for Stephen to settle down and ignore the sounds of the airplanes above and cars driving by. I thought at one point that I had made a bad decision. Finally, though, Stephen pulled the blanket over his head and fell asleep. He laid out there for about 2 hours and slept as good as if in his own warm bed. It was precious!
Praise God for warm days. Praise Him even more that I get to spend it with my boys!